Tonight, I drew a bath, not because I was depressed but because I was happy and I didn’t know how to handle it.
The previous night, over dinner, i came out to my closest friends. To my relief and delight they were supportive and accepted me for who I am.
And when my friend’s wife announced to the table, she was gonna steal me away from the boys cuz I’m on her team now, i was lifted.
And so tonight, in those baptismal bath waters I found myself singing, truly singing, for the first time in five years. Songs of worship came wafting out of my unchained heart. Turns out, all this time there was a stopper on my heart. And now this pathway of the heart to heaven was open, as it was before. The Holy Spirit like clarity. And I realized not only was I singing “I Love You Lord,” I was singing that God is good and trustworthy. Such relief to be able to believe again that God is good! To know that I know that I really do trust God.
And then came the waves of giddiness. Uncontrollable laughter. Smiling ear to ear like…who knows. The euphoria was overwhelming. I begged it to stop. Which of course it did. Which of course it came back for one more go on the Euphoria-Go-Round.
I am free.
Thank you, my magical friends.
Your unconditional love is the Deep Magic of Aslan.